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It was truly a paradise or would have been if the life I wanted to lead didn’t continue to call to me so strongly. ‘Well grandmother,’ I said, knowing she’d hear me. ‘I did what you said. I slept with Hebe. Frankly, I’ve slept with her more times than I have any other woman including Tiffany and I was married to her! Well, in one of my lives anyway.’ There was no response. I hadn’t expected one, but I guess a small part of me hoped there would be because I was disappointed. Gaia hadn’t visited me again since that first time. Hebe said that millennia could pass before one of the gods saw grandmother, but I had the feeling that I’d meet her again. Mother Nature wasn’t done with me yet. I could accept that. It was the waiting that was killing me. ‘You made it sounds like I’d sleep with Hebe and be home in days at most. Yet, here I stand! Still on this damned island waiting!’ Okay, so my tone wasn’t all that respectful, but I had the feeling that Gaia would understand. She wasn’t like. She watched her friends change with the years, the same in so many ways and yet the years brought new things for all of them; some had left and some were new. There were jabs at her inability or lack of desire to maintain any long-term relationships, and she played them off to the best of her ability. It wasn't that she was consciously trying to avoid loving anybody else, she just found that she couldn't. It didn't make her happy, she never felt that spark, it just didn't seem worth it to lead others on when she had no interest in them. When Giles had gone back to England, she had been uneasy. She didn't know what would happen, and even scrying gave her no insight - perhaps she was too clouded with emotion. That emotion had been dredged up from the depths of her heart only a little while before he had left Sunnydale... when he had confronted her about her jealousy. She had spent a good chunk of her life trying to come to terms with her feelings, and his discomfort with their.
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